Effective Relations – A Pathway To Happiness
Written by: Anna Niemira
“The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.” – Tom Ford
In today’s world, everything happens fast. We connect with many individuals via various social media platforms making instant, yet often trivial, acquaintances. We call people friends too quickly without knowing them well. In many cases, we cut corners in social norms and behaviours.
Living in the open world
“The business of business is relationships; the business of life is human connection.” – Robin Sharma
Living in the fast line makes us omit and disregard the process of building long-lasting relationships. We often do not invest the necessary time to create deeper, more meaningful connections. Instead, we often rush in our communications, resulting in shallow connections.
The advancement of technology in a data-driven era made us focus more on the quantity than the quality of our connections. Often, purposefully, we present the details of our lives to catch people’s attention, hold their interest, and make them follow us, without establishing real connection. Also, observing the lives of others via social media gives us the illusion of knowing those we follow.
Analyzing the value and meaning of our connections, especially virtual ones, should become a common and a regular task.
Value in togetherness
“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” – John Lennon
We are social creatures. We grow, develop, and thrive the best when in the presence of others. We are the most effective when working in well-established groups. We feel confident and secured when backed up by our families and friends. We are naturally happier and healthier when we share our lives with our loved ones. In great company we feel safe and much more relaxed.
Creating and cherishing genuine connection through mutual in-person experiences, factors into building rewarding relationships, from getting together dinner, watching movies, traveling, or even our mishaps. When we laugh or adventure together, we bond and learn to trust our feelings and the emotions of others.
Although formal connections are much more official and businesslike, it is good to make an effort to learn and get to know members of our community or our work team to establish respectful yet friendly rapport and create a harmonious relationship for advancing mutual plans and goals.
Self -Reflection
“Love yourself first and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
Good relations with others start with us carrying on a loving relationship with ourselves. We should reflect on our past behaviors that interfere with building constructive relationships to determine what we can change and improve.
It is good to stop and examine what we feel and why certain words or situations provoke our anxiety. What is it within us that we should address to heal and become stronger? It is paramount to self-reflect in order to clear inner blockages, if any.
We can have quiet time making notes or meditating about the issues. Once we address our sensitive points and heal inside, we will connect and accept the outside with greater ease.
Show yourself some love by spending time at a favorite spa, reading an inspiring book, watching a movie, or taking an adventurous trip or a new hobby, anything that boosts your energy, puts a smile on your face, relaxes you and makes you look at yourself and others with a kinder eye.
Key elements of good relationships
“I take the good with the bad. I cannot love people in slices.” - Sean Connery
So much goes into good connection. We might have different views about what defines a good relationship. However, three characteristics seem to be universal in establishing good rapport in a formal or informal setting: trust, respect, and communication.
Building trust
The truth is a fundamental principle of building trust. It is much better to admit that we do not know something or that we have made a mistake than stubbornly standing by incorrect information. Keeping promises we have made and not promising anything we cannot deliver helps others to believe in what we say.
A long-term approach to any relationship, either personal or professional, allows us to build trust gradually. It gives us time to get to know each other in various situations and circumstances. Then, we tend to look into solutions to find a right approach that brings long-lasting results and mutual benefits, letting others recognize our skills and capabilities.
Building trust is not just about our behaviour and performance. It is also about trusting and believing in others. We need to recognize other people's qualities, skills, and knowledge. We should respect individual boundaries and give others space, trusting in their ability to solve problems and issues. Trust is about letting go of control and letting be.
It takes time to establish trust. We build it gradually through actions we take and how well we complete them. Consistency in our performance through good and bad times builds trust.
Building respect
Respect is a feeling of appreciation for others, admiration for their skills, talents, achievements, or personal virtues and values. It is also a regard for other people’s feelings, dreams, wishes, and traditions. It is consideration and sympathy for the life experiences and difficulties of others. Consideration, courtesy, and thoughtfulness are characteristics of respect.
Respect starts with accepting others as they are, with their inner and outer beauty and flaws and being thoughtful of each other’s feelings. It is about careful listening and being present for another, acknowledging the situation and addressing opinions, as well as errors and mistakes, with understanding, kindness and compassion, and respecting physical and emotional boundaries.
We can learn respect by studying different cultures, traditions, and history. Recognizing our experiences and the experiences of others builds attentiveness and sympathetic discernment of people and situations.
It is good to remember that respect for others and towards others is best when paired with self-respect. Loving ourselves as we are and treating ourselves with care and compassion translates into sharing such courtesy with others.
Building communication
Communication makes or breaks any relationship. Effective communication involves clear and consistent messaging that shows we are trustworthy and uphold our own boundaries.
Understanding emotional intelligence, especially our forms of expression and interpretation of emotions, creates a safe space for others to open up and relate with us. Patience is a key component of effective communication.
Communication is as much about clarity as it is about empathy and compassion. Being present, understanding another person’s situation, and getting ready to help in difficult moments, or situations are a part of effective communication through our deeds.
Sometimes, encouraging words are all we need yet at times, saying less and communicating with effective action creates much more rapport.
Energetic connections
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” - Brené Brown
Relationships require strategy and finesse. Balancing our emotions and taking a tactful approach will deliver great professional connections and happy personal and family relations. It is about recognizing the value in ourselves and in others.
Being a compassionate communicator, a trusting and trustworthy individual, and a respectful person towards others and understanding that life has its peaks and valleys, and so has individual journeys, gives us powerful tools to build effective and meaningful relationships.